Saturday….a deep breath kind of day. Today is my son’s 48th birthday…..around 3:22 this afternoon…..How did I get such old children ? I remember it like it was yesterday. It was just as I planned….a warm, sunny May day, a little boy to go along with my little girl. Perfect family.
When my kids were little they would come to me together and try pushing each other out of the way, begging me to tell them which of them was my favorite. I would look at them and say, “You are my favorite son, and you are my favorite daughter.” and then I would get the ….”That’s not FAIR !!!”……… I have no idea what I would have done if I had had a third child.
I am reading Sue Perkins “Spectacles”. She is a Brit comedian whom I know from ‘The Great British Bake Off’ and QI Brit TV series. She really is quite funny. Ali from “Little Drops of Wonderful” podcast was reading it and recommended it. You cannot get this book in the USA. I had to get it through Amazon and it was only available from Britain.
I’ve just started it and she made a very thought provoking comment. She was stating how she had to go through a ton of stuff her mother had kept of hers to write the book and remembering everything, how it was painful to do so. “….to go back and see in such forensic detail and with such unimaginable clarity the person I was, trying to be the person I wanted to be.”
I think sometimes it is painful. It’s nicer and easier to forget, to gloss over the pain. Growing pains. Growing into the person we become. Maybe there are gaps in our memories for a reason, but we would not be that person if we had not gone through the fire, so to speak. The good and bad decisions that outline our lives. If I have to take responsibility for the bad choices, then I claim the good choices, too.
I still have a few things to bring over and have started the long examination of what I HAVE brought to my new direction, but for this morning it is a deep breath kind of day.
Oh, look………..shiny