It’s really weird how panic and anxiety can raise their Medusa heads out of the clear blue. Woke up with dread and snapped my ‘bracelet’ just to get out of bed. It is a rubber band I wear on my wrist that my VA therapist gave me almost three years ago (not the same band…gone through a bunch), and still use periodically. Just a little tool to keep me in the present moment and realize I am okay. That and my rings are pretty much my only ‘jewelry’.
I also woke up wearing my crocheted moebius from a pattern by The Secret Yarnery podcast (a lively woman who lives in South Africa and owns a yarn shop there). I don’t know if it was a comfort thing or a cold thing.
So, usually, the thing that moves me out of panic mode is action….even the tiniest bit of action…..so I got up and fed the cat and realized she was totally out of water (bad, bad mommy) and filled the dispenser up for that. Then I threw in a wash, tidied up the kitchen from last night, ran the cleaner, and made coffee. My niece called and we chatted for awhile and laughed (that is always good). Then I downloaded a bunch of knitting patterns I want to do and decided I am going to cast them ALL on and do an eeny-meeny spin the bottle type of picker-outer and work on something and immerse myself in podcasts and not people or FB today. I also fixed the problem with my BFF’s shorty socks last night.
I watch the Quirky Monday podcasts. She is very open about her emotions and a couple weeks ago talked about ‘treading water’. That is how it feels some days. I commented in a post that when I find myself doing that, I have to remember to turn over and float and look up and the view is much better from there. Well, that went out into the Universe and people have commented to her about our conversation. It is really odd but nice to know that your words have power….for good and bad. Today I had to remember to turn over and float and give it up to my higher power and trust the light at the end of the tunnel is not another train.
Now I will go have a cast on party with the following items and play ……these are all paid for recipes on Ravelry.
- Derecho, a top down little sweater designed by Alison Green
- Knitweave, a little scarf (you get three items in this packet) by Susan Ashcroft
- Jelly Rolls, a shorty sock pattern by Mara Catherine Bryner
- Dryads, by iknit2purl2
oh, look…………shiny